Understanding Communication and Relationships in Autism
I am pleased to announce the release of the third volume in The Understanding Autism Series: Understanding Communication and Relationships in Autism.
Relationships are rarely difficult because people do not care. More often, they become strained because communication is misunderstood — tone is misread, intentions are misinterpreted, or expectations remain unspoken.
In this volume, I explore how communication actually works in everyday relationships and why it can feel especially complex for autistic adolescents and adults. Drawing from more than 30 years of clinical experience in neuropsychology and nearly 1,000 autism evaluations, this book translates research and diagnostic criteria into practical, real-life application.
Topics include:
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The distinction between task-focused and relationship-focused interaction
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Navigating compliments, gratitude, and reciprocity
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Understanding how shame and misinterpretation affect connection
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Practical strategies for conflict repair and relational resilience
This book is written for autistic adults, partners, parents, and professionals who want greater clarity — not scripts or masking, but understanding. When insight increases, relationships become less fragile and more grounded in mutual respect.
Understanding Communication and Relationships in Autism builds on the foundation of the first two volumes and continues the goal of the series: to increase understanding across the lifespan.
I am deeply grateful to the individuals and families whose experiences have shaped this work, and I hope this book offers meaningful support to those navigating communication and connection in their own lives.
Navigating the Holidays with Autism
OSF Newsroom
Navigating the Holidays with Autism Spectrum Disorder
OSF HealthCare Newsroom
Shelli Dankoff – Media Relations Program Manager
It is estimated that more than 3.5 million Americans live with an autism spectrum disorder. Autism is the fastest-growing developmental disability. For every three children diagnosed there are two who aren’t. Couple that with the number of adults who may be on the spectrum and chances are many families across America will be spending the holidays dealing with the challenges the diagnosis brings – both for the person on the spectrum and those around them.
Dr. Theresa Regan is a neuropsychologist with OSF HealthCare who specializes in working with adults on the spectrum. She is also the mother of a son with Autism. Dr. Regan says while the holidays present special challenges, there are things you can do ahead of time to make things easier. Start with giving your child or adult family member a heads up about what is going to happen. People on the spectrum often don’t like surprises. You will also want to have a quiet space where they can go to calm themselves if things get too stressful.
“Another quick tip that I find helpful is giving them a specific job so sometimes if they have a role that’s structured and defined they’re going to feel a lot better in a social setting then if there just after kind of make small talk or kind of mingle.”
Many holiday celebrations center around food and that can be difficult for people on the spectrum as well. Dr. Regan recalls the Thanksgiving morning her son woke up wanting tacos after she had prepared a traditional Thanksgiving meal. Understanding and flexibility are important.
“Especially Thanksgiving to me is a lot about those traditional foods that we got from our moms and dads you know growing up in gathering around the table to eat the turkey and the stuffing. In the spectrum, a lot of people have very specific food preferences. And they really aren’t going to eat a large amount of food and they like to stick to their status quo.”
Dr. Regan encourages people who don't live with Autism in their family and maybe don't understand it to remember this is a time for blessing each other and helping people not be isolated during the holidays.